July 30th, 2009 (11:18 pm)
current location:
floor
current mood: tired
current song: Children of the Corn in the background
In a book about writing, bought when I was sixteen:
Write because you can't not.
I find it hard to adequately express how much I hate this phrase. A few years ago I studied 'The Crucifixion of the Outcast' from Yeats's The Secret Rose. I love Yeats very much. (Minnaloushe creeps through the grass / Alone, important, and wise, / And lifts to the changing moon / His changing eyes.) But man, he could be kind of a dick, and 'The Crucifixion of the Outcast' is nonsense, allegory based on the self-serving notion of artist as spiritual leader. And we all know that archetype. The Greeks called on muses, offering themselves as holy vessels, and people still say things like write because you can't not write, as though some people are simply born connected, all experience funneled into art, an ear against God's door.
This phrase is often told to young and aspiring writers. Don't write for your teachers, for your family, for money, for a career, for the future, write because you cannot live without it, because it physically hurts you not to do it. Then you'll be a real writer. You'll be legitimately artistic, and therefore qualified to look down at all those losers who write to make ends meet or because they want to leave something in the world. I understand that there are thousands of people who want to write their way to success, 'success' being the operative word and writing being the nitpicky detail. As in any profession, there are those who want the rewards without the hard work. Of course. Still; I can't help but feel that anyone who tells would-be writers if you're not legit you can't be in the club needs to spend a bit more time on the naughty chair. Because that's what this phrase implies. Want to write, but don't know where to start? Don't bother. If you're asking this question, it's already too late.
And yes, maybe I'm just a little bit bitter, because I know people who are tirelessly prolific and could not live any other way, but I am not one of them. I need breaks between writing projects for my mental health, I need time to process emotions and ideas and amalgamations of the two. It would be super cool to write all the time in a desperate and effervescent blaze of creative glory but that's called mania and it usually ends badly for me. Of course I can 'not' write, I've been not writing for weeks and have no intention of stopping today or tomorrow or for another month, if my brain decides that the next month is to be one of reading and drawing and watching horror movies instead. I have to constantly reassure myself that this is acceptable. That's just me, I was born this neurotic. I can't imagine purposefully instilling someone else with my own neuroses.
My favourite quote on the subject is from another book on writing by (I think) Pat Schneider. She said a writer is someone who writes, and yes it's simplistic and not the most insightful quote in the world and if you repeat it over and over it loses all meaning and just sounds like 'lions and tigers and bears oh my', but it's a perfect mantra and I love how it demystifies the Artist. You are a writer if you write. The term does not come with an expiration date. You can't become negatively creative. It is not necessary to eat-breathe-sleep a story for it to be a good story, and one you are proud of, and even though you have not suffered for your art or become a martyr to it, it doesn't mean that no one will ever be moved by what you've said.
This rant is on behalf of everyone who feels they should do more, that they aren't enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, not prolific enough, not intelligent enough, not educated enough, not enough. (I'm looking at you, De La Rosa.)
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